“Fear has its use, but cowardice has none.”
– Mahatma Gandhi
Fear
This is such a BIG topic and so many people feel, think, and experience fear at some level or another.
Fear is built into our mental mindset. Where does it stem from? The brain has various areas that processes every sensory input and sends signals to the rest of the body in reaction.
Imagine an avocado. The outer green/black skin is the surface of the brain. Now, imagine cutting the avocado in half. The yellow/green creamy part is the cortex layer of the brain that processes various functions – analysis, hearing, smell, sight, touch, balance and others. The centre of the avocado is a pit. The pit in a brain is the central part or the limbic part of our brain. It is in this limbic part of our brain where memories – conscious (or what we are aware of), and unconscious (what we are not aware of) memories gets stored. These memories are triggered constantly from what we bring in through our daily experiences. The limbic part is responsible for our “fight or flight response” to keep us safe from danger. Whether the danger is real or psychological, the limbic part of our brain does not differentiate. Something in our current moment can trigger an emotional response because of how we responded in our past many many years ago that we may not even recall.
How do we know what fear feels like? Often, we feel it in our body. Our heartbeat maybe a little faster, our breathing a little more shallower, our chest feels a bit tighter, our hands are clammier – it is amazing how our body prepares us to “fight or flight” against a perceived threat in our mind.
What impact does fear have on us? It depends. It depends on whether we respond to fear by running away from the threat, or whether we stay paralyzed in our spot, or best, if we lean into fear. Leaning into fear requires us to recognize that there is something new, something unfamiliar, something uncertain beyond the circle of comfort. It is easy to stay in our circle of comfort, but then we miss out on an opportunity to experience, an opportunity to grow, an opportunity to expand our level of awareness. If we have one chance at this physical lifetime, would we want the most out of it? If the answer is yes, then we need to lean into fear and use fear as a signpost that it is the direction that we must walk towards. It will certainly feel uncomfortable, even anxiety provoking, but life’s richness is built on expanding our circle of comfort.
Sharing with you my own experience:
There have been many instances in my life that I have felt fear. It is truly an uncomfortable feeling, something that I want to avoid, a place where I want to run away in the opposite direction, and feelings of dread. And yet, there is a small part of me that keeps telling me that I must face my fear. I get all the body symptoms – shallow breathing, tight chest, faster heartbeat and clammy hands. In my head, I am running through all sorts of scenarios that have not even played out yet.
One such instance is going zip-lining with the family in Whistler. All my 3 children and even my husband wanted to go zip-lining. While the videos looked like fun, the thought of being so high off the ground scared me. What if the rope broke? What if I get stuck? What if I can’t stop? What if I want to back out? What if? What if? What if? My mind was going crazy with so many fear based thoughts, that my body was having a mini -panic attack! Nevertheless, I also didn’t want to lose out experiencing an incredible moment with my family. I didn’t want to be left on the ground missing out. So I had to talk my way into it. I had to lean into my fear. I recall as I walked off the zip line platform, I had to trust that some higher power would take care of me. And ……WHEE!!!!!
It was SO FUN!!!! I LOVED IT!!!!! And best of all, our family could experience this adventure together!
A similar episode happened when my 20 year old daughter wanted our family to go nighttime snorkeling with these 14 feet manta rays in the dark. I have never been so afraid and so in awe!!!!!!!! These incredible sea creatures moved like ballerinas in the night ocean. Floating on the surface of the ocean waters, underneath a moonlit and twinkling stars, I gazed in awe at these beautiful and monstrous living creatures and as they brushed their bodies up against mine, I felt my fear dissolve into love. It took the courage of my daughter to pave the way for our family to move past their fears and experience an unforgettable life moment together…..
Turning it over to you:
What would you do if you had no fear?
What is fear holding you back in life?
How do you experience fear?
How might fear help grow you in life?
What 2-3 things that you really want to have happen in your life that haven’t yet?
Tips and tools to hopefully help you:
- Notice the feelings of fear and ask yourself, what is on the other side of fear?
- Talk to yourself reassuringly.
- Acknowledge the fear and it’s ok to tell others that you are afraid.
- Find someone to reassure you and to mentor you through the experience.
- Know that fear is normal, everyone experiences it.
- Use fear as a sign that you are at the edge of growth and gain.
- Fear is meant to be uncomfortable, because in the comfortable area is where you stay stagnant.